My dear friends, in my situation, there was a tunnel that I had to roll on but there was no light. And that is where I realized that words have the power to heal the soul. My mother said to me, “This too shall pass. God has a greater plan for you. I don’t know what it is. But he surely has.”
And in all that distress and grief, somehow or the other, those words were so magical that they kept me going.
I was trying to put that smile on my face all the time, was hiding. It was so hard to hide the pain which was there. But all I knew was that if I will give up, my mother and my brothers will give up too. I cannot see them crying with me.
So what kept me going was, one day I asked my brothers, I know, I have a deformed hand but I am tired of looking at these white walls in the hospital and wearing these white scraps. I am getting tired of this. I want to add more colors to my life. I want to do something. Bring me some colors, bring me some small candles; I want to paint.
So the very first painting I made was on my deathbed where I painted for the very first time. It was not just an art piece or just my passion. It was my therapy. What an amazing therapy it was. Without uttering a single word, I could paint my heart out. I could share my story.
People used to come and say, ‘What a lovely painting!” So much color, nobody see the grief in it. Only I could.
So that’s how I spent my two and half months in my hospital, crying never complaining or whining but painting.
And then I was discharged. And I went back home.
And I went back home and I realized that I have developed a lot of pressure ulcers on my back and on my hipbone. I was unable to sit. There were a lot of infections in my body, a lot of allergies.
So doctors wanted me to lie down on the bed straight. For not six months, for not 1 year, but for two years; I was bed ridden, confined in that one room, looking outside the window, listening to the birds chirping, and thinking maybe there will be a time when we will be going out with the family and enjoying the nature.
That was the time where I realized how lucky people are but they don’t realize. That is the time where I realized that, the day I going to sit, I am going to share this pain with everyone to make them realize how blessed they are and they even don’t consider them lucky.